Why I Keep Writing

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always wanted to be an author. That was my biggest dream in life.  I wrote my first story when I was five (you can read about that here if you missed it..check out the pic at the end of entry. It will haunt me for the rest of my life haha) and that was the start of my long writing journey.  In high school, I managed to complete two novels. Unfortunately, one got lost forever as the computer I was using at the time crashed before I could back up the file. The other I still have, not really sure what to do with. It’s kind of just sitting in my documents, waiting for something. I don’t even know if it’s really good enough to be published.

I digress. When I first attended college, writing fell by the wayside. School work consumed a  lot of my time and when I wasn’t doing that, I was out with friends. It wasn’t the second semester of my freshman year where I found the passion again. A little screenplay set off by a long, epic impromptu story I told to a friend made all the difference. It brought back that reason to write again.

I’ve always told myself that I wasn’t going to be some generic writer who does it just for the heck of it. I’m not setting out to be on Oprah’s Book Club (though if it ever happens, I won’t say no…).

I write because it makes me the happiest. I write because it makes me who I am.

The novel I’m working on right now is about a topic that not everyone wants to talk about, but it’s out there. I want to write this book to open up the lines of communication and get people to talk about something they may have been hiding from friends or family. I want to change someone’s perspective on things, to let them see a different side of life they may have never experienced before. I want to delve deep into those personal issues. Yes, sometimes, it isn’t easy to be so personal. It can get hard to put my characters through such trials, but I really feel it’ll be worth it once people have this book in their hands.

All writers should have a huge passion for what they do. Sadly, some do not, and that shows in their works.  I hope that my passion for writing shines through in my novels. Honestly, I hope it shows in this blog.  I want to be taken seriously and not passed aside as some “wannabe” because that’s not what I am.

I’ve owned up to the title of “writer” now.

“You write to communicate to the hearts and minds of others what’s burning inside you.  And we edit to let the fire show through the smoke. ”

~Arthur Polotnik

Why do you write? What keeps you writing?

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Sometimes, You Need Those Inspirational Stories

Chicken Soup for the Writer's Soul

A few weeks ago, I mentioned I was emptying a box from college and found my treasured book of Dr. Seuss stories. Of course, this made me happy not only because that book was quite expensive, but also because even at 26, he’s still one of my writing idols. Well, along with that book, I also found my copy of Chicken Soup for the Writer’s Soul.

Most of us are familiar with the Chicken Soup book series. They have been published for years now. You’ve got one for the Mom’s, the teenagers, grandparents, couples. You name it, they probably have a book of inspiration for it. This book was given to me a few years ago as a gift by one of my dear friends. He gave it to me the weekend before I was to leave the college we both were attending. I was transferring to another college, so my friends there decided to throw me a “farewell party”. Derek knew how much writing meant to me, and by giving me this book, it was his way of saying “Don’t give up.”

In the book, you have your usual sappy inspirational stories, but hey, sometimes you need that to get you going. At least, I do. There are days when I need a good cry to set the creative juices flowing. The Writer’s book has stories of how to deal with rejection and how you should never give up even when all the odds are stacked against you. Sometimes, I do feel like that. There are many days when I doubt myself and I need the time to think about why I’m doing this.

Not all the stories are the ones that make you want to pull out a Kleenex. Some are entertaining and some are just laugh out loud funny. Some of these people are your average, every day people. They are teachers, cops, parents, grandparents, store clerks, etc. Even though they come from different backgrounds, they all have one thing in common: the passion for writing. They want to help inspire other writers to not be afraid to go for what they want to do.

Inspiring others has always been a great thing for me. It has been something I have wanted to do for a long time. I’ve always been told to accomplish my dreams. My mom had to sacrifice a lot so I could have that opportunity. I’m not going to let her down. Accomplishing my dream will be like my gift to her for everything she has done for me.

One of my favorite quotes in the book comes from novelist, Erica Jong:

“And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.“

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Finding Strength Within Myself

Lesley, Me, and Sosha after graduation

As I have mentioned before, it’s been over a year since I graduated college with a bachelors degree in English. Even though I wasn’t able to technically go out into the “real world”, I’ve learned about a lot of things. About how the world works in certain situations, how people change, how I’ve changed, and life in general.

Even though I’m constantly plagued with that nagging self-doubt I have, I’ve discovered a dream I buried deep. It’s a constant struggle to prove myself when there is so much disbelief around me, but I’m trying. I know more about myself than I ever have. That’s quite a powerful thing. Yes, I have changed. Quite a bit actually. To be honest, I’m quite content with the person I am now. The person I was when I was in high school was not a happy person. I was miserable because I felt like I had to conform to whoever they wanted me to be. Either way, I was miserable, I guess.

By the time I graduated college, I changed who I really wanted to be. I make no apologies for what I want to do. I’m not going to let anyone walk all over me any longer. If you don’t like me, then that’s your problem. Take it or leave it. I know that may seem harsh, but there were times in my life where I did make the mistake of letting people take advantage of my kindness. I let them knock me down and take away my confidence.

I also rediscovered my passion for writing again in college. One day, people will notice my talents. If I change a few misconceptions about people and life, then I’ve done what I set out to do. It’s not a selfish act. It’s not some trendy thing. You can take that or leave it as well.

So, watch out for what I can do. You’re going to be pleasantly surprised once you see it. Once you experience it.

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Something From A Few Years Back

A few weeks ago, I was offered the opportunity to submit a writing project I have completed. Last week, it was published on a blog here on WordPress called The One Story Project that I think is an amazing idea and a great community for creative people to showcase their work.

The work I submitted was a personal essay I wrote for my Advanced Composition class in college. It is a very personal memoir of a time I shared with my dad. I have provided the link to the blog entry and I hope you enjoy reading it.

Click here to read

I hope you enjoy!

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A New Perspective

I think I’ve been working so hard on my novel, I now have a major tension headache. At least it’s from working too hard and not hard enough. That’s a way to look at it, anyways.

Right now, I’m working on another poem. It just kind of hit me, so I’m trying to make that sound okay. Maybe I’ll post it tomorrow. Depends on my mood.

I have been doing a lot of thinking today. I like to play that ‘what if’ game. What if I had done things differently in my life. The whole instant regret thing I like to do. I probably should have done things a bit differently in college. I should have been more outgoing. I shouldn’t have let certain people treat me the way they did. I should have done more with the English department.. maybe asserted myself a bit more. I could have made myself stand out in the crowd instead of blend into the background. I just did the work they gave me and went on with my days. My last year went by in a blur and I didn’t do a damn thing to be proud of. My resume looks bland.. my English degree is gathering dust on my dresser.

But then again, I can do something with my life now. I can go on to publish the novels I want to and make something of myself now to prove everyone else that I can do it. That they are wrong about me. I’m not a failure. I’m not a loser. I can’t go back to those college days where I didn’t really do the things I wanted to do. But the people who brought me down in those days aren’t really in my life anymore. Cleaning up some of them was a very hard decision on my part but again, this is my life and I have to take care of myself. I can’t have that kind of negativity anymore. Do I miss some of them? Sure. Do I wish them well? Absolutely. But I just couldn’t handle the drama anymore.

I feel better now. Thanks for “listening” haha.

Back to writing, I go.

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